Close your eyes and deceive your heart. Imagine reality with blossoming expectancies and preserved faiths; imagine life with glories and obtained exuberance. Imagine that you never really exist…
*Crash* The violent sound broke through the thick moist air of a summer night; the sound was a jagged avalanche piercing through the magical spell I cast, leaving me undefended before the edge of cliffs, the verge of confusion I was about to fall into. I sat there under the steps of stairs, staring at two separate individuals with their mouths clamoring, screeching lamentations and regrets, with their hands swinging, elucidating unclarified expressions on their adversarial faces. I love you son…I love you…I love…I –No, I do not want to listen. I do not trust you anymore. Reflectively, I found my hands covering my ears. Was it I who was responsible for all this? Was it? Answer me!!!
Close your eyes…Close your eyes…Who am I? Their prized child? Their so-considered love-caressing flower ploughed on golden sand, on the “burning brimstones,” on hardships, on rejection, on conspiratory detection? No!!!
*Blink* I see anger sparkling through the remainders of the shattered porcelain dishes; the enragement as long as the freezing nights that would consume the woman with their eternal darkness; the fury as broad as the blazing days that would incinerate the man in their omnipotent conflagration. I sensed the heavy odor of sweat lingering within the dense air. The room was empty, except for me and the ceaseless flashings of the exhausted round bulb. A thunder crashed suddenly, splitting the sky into two isolated plane, fracturing the serene heaven into the fragments of pain and distrust. God was bitter he did not shed a tear. So was I.
Deceive your heart…Deceive your heart…Trust no more until you burst!!!
*Bam*
“Who of those two shall be your pride? Who of those two meet your expectations, your requirements, and your future acquisition? Who of those two shall gain your trust, your respect, and your life? Choose, child. The honor is all yours!” The judge talked, announced, endeavored to elicit an answer, a solution from the obstinacy I expressed.
I observed. Mom…Her eyes, intensely profound, vivaciously gleamed a desiccated hope, a withering tenacity. She stood still, one hand holding the other, her enervated body withstanding the compression, the restriction of society- a single mom. Could it be? Dad…He settled on an ebony bench neither glancing at his very son nor at his once beloved wife. His pride, his determination, his certainty of a confirmed victory obscured the fact that I am a human. He smiled an insidious smile. Did he really care who I lived with? Or was it just merely for the title of being victorious? Could it be?
The air condensed. No sound. No movement. Who should it be?
“Daddy, daddy! Where are you going?” I shouted in excitement. ”May I come too? Let me help you.”
I snatched the luggage playfully from him, and carried it across the meticulously mowed lawn to the dilapidated yellow cab. He reclaimed his belongings in a swift and violent seizure, and then quietly got in. I stood, watching the massive smoke arising with the motionless shadows of the trees besides me. It was the third of June…
I had decided. My hand raised; the tip of my index finger pointing at the one. Mom collapsed to her chair, while my caring father remained calm as ever. Someone burst into tears as she perceived my indication, a decision with all the power of destiny.
It was one of those days it rained nonstop; it was one of those days the mud and dirt and rainwater coalesced to form a reddish-orange substance that gnawed the milky rubbery limbs of rain-loving children; it was one of those days the curtain of rain concealed the luminosity of the day, allowing the gloominess to prevail upon the desolate lane; it was one of those days I realized my importance as my father came and left in a hurry after stuffing a handful of crumpled paper money into my hands. And though I detested the method of replacing the love and care I deserve with money, I did enjoy the little treats they provided: the pink puffy cotton candies, the freezing ice-cream scoops…How could I forget one of those days?
I remember the days and nights, with my hands pondering on the harmony of the night-late Nocturne, with my mind mesmerized, with my spirit, with my soul, melting, blending into the flow.
I remember the empty swing deep in my childhood, swaying immortal memories from my sorrowful past, back to “me.”
This is my past, a dismal past. These are my threads, tiny Ariadne threads that contribute to a greater prospect of my life. They are in place, my colorful threads, my valuable threads, waiting for my adroit hands to sew, to knit, to merge them into the “florid tapestry” of my own.
There are times when you venture away from home, to find joys of life, to search meanings of love; there are times when you stray away from the ordinaries, to commence an adventure, to carry on, to bring along the uniqueness you yourself possessed; and there are times when you lock away the personalities, the characteristics, the smiles, the expressions, the factors that compose you and you only, to fight, to march, to show the whole world who you have become. But then there are times you cry under the balcony with dangling morning glory, moved, touched, as you embraced the vital significance of the cherished memory the house itself protects. Do not hesitate to ring the bell for however your memory is carrying on; remember there is always an open space for you. You just need to be courageous; you just need to be patient; you just need to stay strong, to always sustain a conviction that whenever you are tired and desire to return, there are members of the house with arms opening wide, with mouth grinning broad, waiting for you in front of the television with your favorite music program, longing for you beside the “unstarted” dinner table.
Just when the doors open, you will abandon every remorseful memories of the outside world from your house, you peaceful paradise.
Then you will transform into a child once again as you observe the cheerful smiles of each and every members. You will be proud to say: “Here am I.”
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A friend of mine wrote this one as his end-term assignment. Hope you guys like this. No picture for this entry, who understand will be touched by its soul... ^^
